Silent Screams Inc.

Resources For Survivors 

It has been twelve years since the assault and nine and a half years since the trial. I ask myself was it worth it to speak up? Recovering from a vicious attack has taken me many more years than I expected. The attack caused much deeper damage than I realized. Was it worth it to go public and press charges against the man, a church elder that viciously raped me? Was it worth it to have to leave my church relationship and the fellowships I once had? The cynical and disparaging attitude of the church leadership made it very uncomfortable and more traumatic for me; a second trauma. I lost the life I once knew and had to rebuild my soul. Was it worth it to go through years of emotional and mental challenges, psychological trauma?

To Speak or Not to Speak – If I did not press charges the rapist would have continued on his path of destruction, infecting women with AIDS. If I did not press charges the investigation would not have transpired that revealed the serious health condition of this man, a danger to society. Was it worth to give up my privacy and expose myself to public vulnerability? Was it worth it to hear and read the media interpretation of the rape and how they erroneously linked me with the rapist as a couple? Was it worth it to sit on the witness stand and face the defense attorney as he painted a picture of a woman who was sex starved. She was so sex starved that she wanted this man, even though she knew he was diseased. He then said, she then regretted it and cried rape? Was it worth it to sit there and listen to his attacks on my character and then be forced to tell the horrid details of the vicious attack? 

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