I’m Still Here!
I woke up this morning realizing it was ten years ago this weekend that I was viciously attacked by Nathaniel Tumbwe, an elder at the Potter’s House of Dallas, TX. It was ten years ago the first Saturday in October that my life dramatically changed, horribly changed. Tumbwe had full-blown AIDS when he attacked. It’s been 10 years and I’m still here.
For weeks I experienced multiple pains from the attack. Physical pain and bleeding from the damage inside my body. Emotional pain, high blood pressure, confusion, crying intermittently for weeks from the daily bombardment of thoughts. Living in fear for months and I had memory loss, cognitive issues and depression for years. The health issues prior to the rape became more life-threatening after the assault. Depression was a constant companion for years. It accompanied me throughout each day, slept with me at night, and woke up with me in the morning. I was beyond hope, beyond caring about my life let alone someone else’s. Besides that, I faced revictimization from church leadership and from going through the legal process. But I’m still here.
From Death to Life
But five years ago, everything changed. Life began again. With the guidance of my God, slowly I began being pulled out of the paralysis from the hell that bound me. Not only myself, but I was given a mandate to help others come out.
Not only am I still here but, this month of October, ten years after the assault, I have been nominated for two community awards. I am humbled and honored to be nominated. Silent Screams Speaks, the radio show that gives survivors a platform to tell their story was nominated for community service in the Fishbowl Radio Network Sharky Awards. Being chosen as one of the nominees for the community award of The National Hookup of Black Women Inc. (NHBW) is a humbling honor as well. Whether I win or not, just the recognition is award enough because I’M STILL HERE! I’M STILL HERE!!!
God will keep you even when you really don’t care to be kept. Every day, get through the moment, even if the moment is years.
Vote by October 10th – Click here to vote for Silent Screams Speaks in the Most Community Active category of the Fishbowl Radio Network Sharky Awards. Thank you for your vote.