Who can you trust with your stuff?  Where is your safe place? The question is not, to speak or not to speak. The question is to whom do you speak? Anytime you experience a traumatic event such as the death of a loved one, a painful divorce, a home invasion, a serious traffic accident, or a violent crime against you, your normal changes. Your normal changes, physically and cognitively.  You may become fearful and vulnerable. It is imperative that you have someone in your corner, you can trust with your vulnerability. Someone who will listen to you without judging or interrogating you. This is so important for sexual assault survivors.

Sexual Assault Survivors

For assault survivors, who can that be? Anyone with whom you feel very comfortable. You may know that person right away. You can be you when you are with them. On the other hand, after sharing your pain and experience you might realize they are not the one. So, what do you do? Do you put up a boundary to protect your heart from them? Do you shut down from everyone because you don’t know who you can trust with your stuff?  Or do you become more cautious and apprehensive in sharing what happened to you?

Soon you will learn how to discern who you can trust with your stuff.  It isn’t always your best friend, family member or church pastor. It may be someone you work with, an advocate, a therapist, or a wise old neighbor you talk to everyday. Be careful with whom you share.  https://silentscreams4help.org/rape-survivor-help/how-to-respond-to-a-survivor/

Protect yourself from unnecessary emotional pain. A support team is important to have as you navigate through trauma. Flash backs and triggers are common, especially around the anniversary date. Connecting to someone during that time can be lifesaving.

Your Support Team

A listening ear is one of the best helps you can have on your support team. A friend that will gladly adjust their time, their life to be present for you is another priceless gift. Please understand some people cannot travel through trauma with you. They don’t possess what you need.  Do not get upset. Set your boundaries and keep moving. Appreciate those on your team.   They have your back. Utilize the many support tools in your community. Going through trauma times alone is not fun and not recommended. Connect with your community of survivors. Be open to new friendships. There are many of us. We know, we feel, we care.

Silent Screams Inc. has a list of survivor helps. To know more go to www.silentscreams4help.org

Tips for Talking with Survivors of Sexual Assault | RAINN